Want Real-Estate Success? Forget Houses, Go With Headshots

Another brief intermission from Adage.com:

If you haven’t already noticed, the advertising industry is in what the economists are calling a “bit of a recession.” I don’t know much about that. But, what I do know is that if you’ve been following my posts about real-estate agent advertising, you’ll have gathered that these people are pioneers in the ad world.

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Whole World in His Hands

689311849_674f201267Come on everyone, let’s all sing this one together …

He’s got the rivers and the mountains in His hands,
He’s got the oceans and the seas in His hands,
He’s got you and he’s got me in His hands,
He’s got the whole world in His hands.

Whew, that was fun!

Alright Chuck, if you have a moment, why don’t you get some clothes on and meet us at the coffee shop around the corner? We’ve got a Grande Skinny latte with your name on it. After we get you all buzzed up on caffeine, we plan to take advantage of you by picking your left brain. Clearly, this is the side that’s responsible for such a visual masterpiece. As we can tell by your domain name (charlessellstheworld.com), you obviously have a big task ahead of you, so we promise that we’ll have you back to naked again in no time.

Oh, and one more thing. If you find yourself at Barnes and Noble in the coming month, grab the latest issue of Playgirl, we took a full-page ad out to congratulate you on your silver nomination.

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Mystery Solved

22So here’s the sitch: You’ve been scanning the daily listings for that perfect home and nothing seems to catch your stubborn eye. Out of the blue, you get an email from a random real estate agent (which clearly he got from some sneaky backdoor questionnaire). Regardless, you’re not upset by the blatant misuse of your email address because he just sent you the home you’ve been building with Lincoln Logs since you were only 5 years old. So, first thing the following day, you and the fam jump in the car to do a quick drive-by. Only, when you get the “supposed” address, the home is nowhere to be found. WHAT? Quite the pickle I’d say. If I were you, I’d call Century 21’s one and only … wait for it … Sherlock Homes (Get it? They’re so silly). But, this vice squad of investigative agents are legit, they’ll solve any real estate mystery you encounter (with magnifying glass in hand) . It’s about time!Picture 2

So, how do you promote such a unique service? You do what any good Real”ad”tor award winner would do — you “borrow” some familiar imagery and viola — it’s gold. And, if that’s not enough for you, you ask your child to dress up like your mascot and take bring him in for a photo shoot. Warning though, he’ll more than likely have to fend off the droves of ladies going gaga over his celebrity. Small price to pay for a coveted gold nomination.

Mystery solved Karla Mink, thanks for the submission.

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Therapy

Please bear with me for just a few moments, I need to take a break from the awards to talk to you about something very serious.

Hi, my name is Dana, and I’m a Twitter junkie. Alright, the hard part is over, now it’s time to figure out where things went wrong. You see, ever since I began exploring what real-estate agents were doing on Twitter, I’ve grown obsessed with their every tweet. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve actually created a secret account, followed every agent on Twitter and confessed my sickness to @secrettweet, using my new secret account. Whew … I must admit, it feels really good to get all of this off my chest. Now that I’ve lightened the load a bit, let me share of few of my favorites (along with my thoughts of course):

Photo 1

Mister Bluebird on his fingers, it’s the truth, it’s actual, everything is satisfactual. Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah, Zip-A-Dee-A.

Photo 2

Careful everyone, it appears that Jorge is looking for a pick-up game of “Tune in Toyko”.

Photo 3

Look people, it’s really not nice to stare.

Photo 4

Jim Supple, the first canine to hit a $1,000,000 in sales. Curiously, he types remarkably well.

Photo 5
Alright, I’ve got one of two theories on Keith. Either his buddies at work stole is Twitter password or he voted for McCain.

Photo 6
Ever since Marvin Gaye’s hit song, “Let’s Get It On” hit the airwaves, Andrea’s been looking to piggyback off it’s popularity. Her day in the sun has finally arrived. Whoo, Let’s Tweet.

Photo 7
Marquis clearly understands what Twitter is all about. Step into his profile page and you’ll be greeted with granite countertops, stainless steel appliances and mood lighting. You don’t have to invite me twice.

So there you have it, the crème de la crème of real estate agents on Twitter. If I’ve missed anyone (highly unlikely) who deserves to be perched up (no pun intended to our Bluebird boy) and recognized for their creative talents, let me know. Besides, I really need it.

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Hundred’s of Happy Clients and Counting

Mom NEW AdAlright, so it’s been over a week, what can I say … I’m sorry. Wish I could tell you that I was in Cozumel, sucking worms out of tequila bottles and getting in fist fights with the local folk. But unfortunately, the reality is much less pleasant than that. Truth be told, Jessie has had me in a complete tailspin this past week. I’ll be honest, when her ad first crossed my desk, I couldn’t quite grasp the brilliance that is this women. Yeah, the cartoonish color scheme is awesome, but I just couldn’t find the hook. After running it through a battery of analysis tests, I finally gave up. Just when I thought all was lost, I woke up to an epiphany! Grin and Let Jessie Barrett! YES! Of course, it’s a play on words and it’s hilarious! In fact, it’s so funny that my week long streak of belly laughing prevented me from concentrating enough to write. Let Jessie Barrett! YOU. ARE. SO. FUNNY!

And, how about those hundreds of happy clients you have? Well, we called each and every one of them and it turns out they were right again. They said — platinum. We said — you bet.

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Priceless

priceless

Classy, classy, classy stuff young lady. And, (as I’m sure you know) I’m not referring to the palatial estate. No, I am in fact referring to this masterpiece of an ad, which cleverly, contains a description just shy of a million words (but who’s counting, right). I just love that you went literal with that statement!

Alright folks, grab your pencils, because this is a little bit of marketing trickery that you’ll want to jot down. If you want to command a higher-than-market-value price tag for your clients property, don’t state the price. Instead … call it priceless. BANG! It’s gets them everytime. Picture 2And, you wanna know what else is priceless? How about that portrait of Domenique and her pup? It’s spectacular, Mrs. Lombardo Blanchette! You are definitely high society!

Congratulations! You can now add a gold nomination (which seems to fit the color scheme) to that group of accolades on the footer of your ad.

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The Doctor Will Be Right With You

Another brief intermission from Adage.com:

Paging Doctor Grahn, Doctor Grahn, you and your cane are needed at the Fox headquarters. STAT! Apparently they have a show called “House M.D.” that appears to be some sort of spin-off of your show, “The House Doctor.”    Read More

Thanks goes out to Carla Muss-Jacobs for alerting us to this apparent celebrity.

The International Language of Advertising

Resort Realty 1-4 adHey Alla, tell Boris you’ll call him right back, we just need a few moments of your time (you’re obviously a busy bee).

Look, I have absolutely no idea what your ad says, but truthfully, it doesn’t matter. This ad translated in any language would come out saying beautiful. But wait, before you start smiling and dialing again, let me tell you why. First, I’m especially fond of how you surrounded your words with bullets, using them as decoration rather than separators. Nice touch! Also, I found it interesting that when translated, English bullets (circular in shape), turn into diamond shaped bullets. Next, your little landscape coloring in the upper right-hand corner was adorable. Last, and here’s the “she’s a genius” moment for me … while you were simultaneously on the phone closing your next deal and posing for the photo shot, you had the vision to position your hand in just-the-right-spot for the ad designer to place your call-to-action. DONE! You are a rare talent Mrs. Sienitsky.

Gold nomination is being translated and sent via text message.

Oh, before I forget, let me tell you this story about when I was just a young … I’m only kidding Alla. Go ahead, you can get back on the phone now.

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The BIG Conspiracy

1778732183_1341e2697d_bI don’t know about you, but ever since the 1984 box office smash hit, Starman, I scream like a little girl at a Jonas Brothers concert whenever I see Jeff Bridges on the big screen. Throw Rosanne Barr’s lackey on-camera husband (yes, the one and only John Goodman) into the mix and you’ve got yourself one star-studded line-up for a movie. That was precisely what the Coen brothers had in mind when they chose the cast for their comedic classic, “The Big Lebowski”. However, what they didn’t foresee was that a gentleman by the name of Cary Libowsky had already coined the term long before their 1998 debut. Or … did they know? You see, as legend has it, a friend of a sister to the nanny of Ethan Coen’s best friend’s ex-brother-in-law (who apparently never lies), says that Joel Coen was spotted with Cary Libowsky’s business card during post-production of the film. Sounds SUSPECT!

Sources close to the “Real” Big Libowsky have reported that Cary has his good days, but has yet to forgive the writing duo. As we see it, Cary’s the real deal and we’ll endorse his version of the story any day of the week. As for the Coen brothers … well, they know what they did. (Hey C-bros, between the three of us, switching the “i” to an “e” and “y” to an “i” in the name was brilliant! Cary doesn’t stand a chance in court.) Anyway, we know it’s not an Academy Award, but we hope Cary can find some peace with a BIG Silver nomination.

Thank you once again to Andrea Ness for another wonderful submission.

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