Apples, apples, one, two, three. Apples for you. Apples for me.

dapplrmHere are just a few of my favorite apple delights: apple pie, apple cider, apple cobbler, apple sauce, apple martinis and now … Donna Apple. Maybe it’s her straightforward approach to branding. Can you blame her? When you’ve been blessed with a last name like Apple, you want to make sure the world doesn’t miss it. I mean, if my last name was iPhone, you bet your ass you’d find my big mug, smack dab on the screen. We get it Donna and we appreciate you connecting the dots for us.

Donna also appears to know a thing or two about the proper use of color. Besides the beautiful smorgasbord of nearly every primary color, Donna knew just the right shades of apple green and fall yellow to further remind us of her incredible namesake.

We’ve reserved a table a Baker’s Square so we can enjoy some apple crisp as we present you will an all-new red nomination. Only kidding, we’re givin’ ya gold.

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Ricki Ricki Bang Bang

realtor+adCall me a clown, but nothing quite tickles my tummy as much as the old gunfighter finger move. It’s just a riot! And, it’s a move that’s been perfected by Long & Foster’s very own, Ricki Gerger.

As Mrs. Gerger demonstrates, to pull this off effectively (which means putting your friends in hysteric laughter), you need to make sure that you fully extend the index and thumb to their absolute maximum. Next — and this is the real secret — hunch your shoulders and cock your head just slightly for full impact. It’s that simple. Now, go home, practice in front of the mirror and incorporate this into your next ad. Success will surely come your way.

As for you, Mrs. Gunslinger, while this isn’t a typical real estate ad, I would be remiss not to recognize your talent and reward you for your excellence. You’re receiving the coveted silver “bullet” nomination. BANG! BANG! Back at you.

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Turn Your Frown Upside Down

14346941ad_iI’ll level with you folks, with a lack of solid submissions lately, I was almost beginning to believe that the economy finally had its way with real”ad”tor hopefuls. Of course, it’s without saying, I was deeply saddened by the thought of them upgrading to that next level of careers — insurance, multi-level marketing, affiliate marketing and so on. Just as I was ready to give up hope, Toni blessed me with a reason to hang-on.

Her formula was simple: Item – Modify – Picture – Rotate = 180. Done! This upside-down visual piece of trickery is what we call the sleeping bat technique. At first glance it goes virtually unnoticed, than, all of a sudden you see it, and it scares the bejesus out of you.

For the record Toni, you — and her little right-side up Remax ballon — scare me. But, you renewed my faith and for that, you get gold.

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Tell Death Do Them Part

14410081ae_iHey Lady, please release your full nelson and step away from the gentleman in tech support. Good god, the poor man is in grimacing pain.

Gotcha! I’m kidding of course, you guys are A.D.O.R.A.B.L.E. But, let’s be honest, that level of adorability doesn’t just happen by accident? I’m not going to pretend for a moment that it wasn’t planned that way. Obviously, you two are advertising gods first, real-estate agents second. Folks, observe this ad in great detail and live this rule of advertising: if you want to find the way to the buyers heart, you tug on their heart strings. And, nobody does that better than team G. Mullis. In fact, they practically wrote the book.

This little chunk of brilliancy is rounded out with a few choice headlines that ignore the annoying use of punctuation. Genius!

Gold.

Everyone, please do your part and hug a techie.

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