One eye on the Future, one on the Past

Duane Meeks knows where he's been
Duane Meeks knows where he’s been

A new category for Excellence in Real Estate Photography has been proposed and our first nominee is a man who not only knows where he is going in life, but always keeps one eye on the past.

Like the mailman neither rain nor snow nor a really good song on the radio will prevent Realtor Duane Meeks of Remax Little Oak Realty from practicing his craft.  Why hire a professional photographer when such beautiful Curb Appeal can be showcased merely by rolling down the car window and raising the bar in marketing.  Every picture is worth a thousand words and most of those words in this picture speak to Duane’s incredible eye for symbolism.  How can we as an Industry know where we are going if we forget where we have been?  Not to be mistaken as laziness, in an industry of run of the mill high-end photography, Duane knows that this shock treatment will get his listing noticed.  Especially here at the Real “Ad” tor Awards.  This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Gold Nominee

http://duanemeeks.remax.ca

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The Vampire Demographic

Freya Prit
Freyja Prit Immortal Realtor

Yes the riches are in the niches and this is one niche that has yet to be exploited save for our savvy nominee Realtor Prit Toor (aka Freyja Prit).  The almost completely unexplored world of late night Real Estate is just a call away with this day light avoiding purveyor of immortal land deals.  Not one drop of your sweet blood should be shed searching for a finer sales rep and marketer of land then Ms. Toor, skills she learned in the old country.  Don’t let those fangs fool you, she will bite off the competition and drain them of all arguments when it comes time to negotiate.  You may not see her in the daylight but you will feel like joining her and her team of minions after she makes you feel like a never dying member of her family.  You will be so grateful you will want to serve her, and you will.  It would be a grave mistake to not hire Prit Toor given that there is so much at stake. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Gold Nominee

http://freyjarealestate.webs.com/

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Yogi Katheran and the Flying Circus

Katheran Milne
The Amazing Levitation skills of Katheran Milne

Heard about Yogic flying? How about Realtic floating? Looking for a Realtor that literally rises above the rest?  A little magic the rest of the pack doesn’t possess or understand?   You would think that to get this type of thinking you would have to source a 38th level Scientologist but no my friend Katheran & Co will be there for you when you’re feeling a bit too grounded with real estate troubles.  Even the Great Blue Heron is in awe of her ability to lift up business around her service area, it really is a black & white choice.

Not since Larry Hagman  found Barbara Eden in that bottle has such a talent been unleashed on the human race and if you don’t see it well I’m sorry for what you are about to settle for, Yogi Katheran Milne,… err Realtor Katheran Milne and her Flying Circus put Monty Python to shame.  Even JLo herself doesn’t cast as great a shadow as Katheran does over this Industry.  Your first call in Powell River is to KFlo. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Platinum Nomination.

http://www.katheran.com/

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Little Miss Crabby Pants

Whoa Anna … looks like someone has their crabby pants on. Let’s just step back, take a deep breath and try to put on a happy face. Look, I’m not sure if you’re just not pleased with your chosen profession or the market is starting to feel like a little over-weight pool boy pulling your fingernails out with a dull needle-noose pliers, one at a time? Either way, it appears that career change may be in order.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to tell you what to do. I mean, you look like you could hold me down by the neck with a triple-leg lock tummy fold followed by a ten minute session of noogies, only stopping when the crown of my head is as red as a monkeys butt. No thank you.

Now, here’s another theory: you’re just a sweetheart, convinced by some over-worked, over-paid, under-skilled ad exec to play the role of real estate bitch. And, if that’s the case … well, it’s genius. Got me. I actually thought that you wanted to kick my … but you … then I … HA. You’re good Anna, real good. The heavenly gates of gold nominations have just opened up and guess what? There you are. MAUH! MAUH!

Just in case my theory isn’t 100% correct, let me just say that the black one piece jumpsuit looks lovely and … I bruise easy.

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Wanted: Lunatic stark raving mad fans that are willing to run naked in public forums, paint their faces with Real”ad”tor pride, scream puns at the top of their lungs and beat the crap out of the arch rival fans. If this sounds like you, click here.
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World Wide Wonders

I couldn’t think of a better way to kick-off 2010 than kicking off a new chapter in the Real”ad”tor Awards story. So, starting in 2010, we will now be taking website submissions. Yep, you’ve asked, and now you’ll receive. And, to be honest with you, I think the real talent is online anyway. WAIT … THAT WASN’T ME TYPING, SERIOUSLY.

Anywho, to wet your palate (just a bit) before the new year and let you know just where we’re going to set the bar, I thought I’d bring you a little teaser. It’s my pleasure to introduce none other than Earl & Marilyn Mendoza and their website. Which, by the way, is frickin’ sweet. Between the pleasing colors, modern layout and nifty navigation graphics, you will undoubtedly agree that they deserve nothing less than gold.

But … they did one better. They gave us a hook. Or rather, a little something to remember them by. The decided to cleverly merry there catchy headline, “Shopping For A Realtor?”, with a literal interpretation of just what they were talking about. Looks like Marilyn found herself a good deal on some Earl.

These two are a couple of characters. Bravo Home Team, Platinum it is.

Merry Chri … I Mean, Happy Holidays From Glen

You know what they say, you can’t improve upon perfection. So, rather than us muck up some holiday-esque greeting by alienating certain religions and over-emphasizing our love for Santa’s little helpers, we thought we’d take a ride on Mr. Kitto’s coattails. In fact, we’re just so dang pleased with his message, that we’re just going to let him say it.

Glen, the stage is yours.

Yeah … what he said. See you all on the flip side of this holiday thing.

BTW: Glen will be under the mistletoe at noon on the 24th for anyone interested in little tongue wrestling match before the long weekend.

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An Agent By Any Other Name …

If there is anything that I hope you can take away from this blog, it’s this: if your name is Steve, you’re done. As in, screwed, washed up, finished. But wait Steve, you’re not alone. In fact, if your name is Ted, Mary, Crawford, Joboo, Jimbo, Jane, Brian, T-bone, Jason … or whatever — you’re toast. Just pack up your pencils, aluminum signs and mortgage calculator and call it a day.

However, I repeat, HOWEVER. If you were so fortunate, so blessed, so fortuitous to be named John Albee … well then, you are in luck my friend. Because — John Albee is the ONLY name you need in real estate. And, if you’re smart (like Edie and Cynthia who, like many of us, weren’t so fortunate at birth), you’d jump on board the John Albee wagon. It’s heading to the promise land and these gals are riding it all the way to the end. Brilliant move ladies.

In an attempt to reach John Albee for comment, I was presented with a menu of Johns to pick from. In my brief moment of uncertainty, I panicked and quickly hit zero. When I was greeted by the receptionist, I asked her to tell the boys that they’ve got a platinum, which I’ve aptly renamed the “John Albee Platinum Nomination”.

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Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door

Oh, Steven. Steven, Steven, Steven … what are we going to do with you? I’m not a suit expert, but unless my eyes are playing tricks on me, that appears to be a three-button classic Ralph Lauren $3,995 suit, tailored in Italy from extra-fine wool, with a lean silhouette, slightly shortened rise and narrowed lapels, designed to flatter the ladies with a streamlined fit. But, then again, what do I know?

So, why don’t you have that puppy bagged? Wait … don’t tell me, I already know the answer. When you’re money, material possessions don’t matter.

Look, I get the whole “I won’t out-dress you” bit, but c’mon. A man with such exquisite taste in men’s wear? The stonewashed jean look didn’t fool me.

I’ll admit, the bitchin’ “half-hand in the tight-fit pocket” and mullet had me going for awhile. He’s just a good ‘ole boy, right? Yeah, nice try. Once I caught a glimpse of that lapel, I knew exactly what we were dealing with.

Well played Steven, well played. In addition to stealing a few laughs from your biggest fan, you’ve also stolen the coveted gold nomination. You are one smooth criminal my friend.

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