The VIP Club

ar12580799658444Wowzers gentleman, you really put it all out on the line. Just look at you guys with your fancy hat, sleek tear-off VIP card and eye-pleasing layout. No matter how you walk this puppy, it’s a champion from all directions. Although this beauty is chalk-full of goodies, a few things in particular caught my wandering eye:

  1. As any good business person knows, a true measurement of success is when your company is referred to by its initials. You know, like IBM, BK or KFC. With the classic capitalize and colorize method, you’ve managed to begin the long process of branding your peeps to start calling you TPF. Smart move guys.
  2. “Your home advertised 24hrs a day until SOLD”, are you kidding me? Hope your egos aren’t writing checks that your bodies can’t cash. You might be in luck, I’ve heard rumors that stuff like this is possible on the World Wide Web — I dunno. It’s a tall-order, but I got a feeling that you two are the types that can pull it off. Good luck.
  3. You say Toe-may-toe and I say Toe-ma-toe. You spell it real estate and they spell it Realestate. Why? Because it’s how big deals’ roll. I get it guys.
  4. Here’s the challenge: you want to rotate between red and blue on every other line, and you know (because you’re borderline genius) that red is reserved for the important info, like a telephone number. So what do you do when the order of the information is such that if you follow your rotating color formula, the “less important” information would have to be in red? Well, if you’re TPF (see, I’m tracking with you guys) you say screw the order of information, and redirect the eye with a stylized arrow (in red nonetheless). Problem solved and you look cool. Nice.

I could just go on and on, but I have a feeling we haven’t seen the last of you two. I’d like to save a little something for the next round. You know? But, no need for you guys to wait to receive your silver nomination, it’s been sent via the World Wide Web, and apparently, it works 24 hours a day. WOW!


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la Famiglia

2003-04-11_BillboardSee! I knew it. This is exactly what I was talking about. I’m screwed.

Considering that I’m already destined to be buried in the middle of a corn field, outside a small Kansas City town, I might as well tell it like it is. Anthony … or Tony “the specialist” Napoli, as you’d probably prefer — your ad needs work. There, I said it.

The picture is dumb. The arrow is unnecessary. The hand-written font doesn’t make sense. Connected didn’t need to be in quotes (although, it’s further proves my theory). And, the gradient fade on your photo is lame.

Whew. That felt good.

Holla. Gotcha Tony, I was just messin’ with you. This is fantastic … really. And, just like everything else you touch, it’s gold. Give a shout out to the boys for me.

Bend Over Rover, Let Jeff Hughes Take Over

8673When Jeff Hughes says drop your … price, people say, “How much”. Why? Because Jeff has his finger(s) on the pulse of … well, everything! In fact, it appears that Dr. Feelgood has fingured (or, I mean figured) out the single most motivating factor in choosing a real estate agent — pain. Just looking at his ad makes me clench my cheeks so tight that I could crush granite with my sphincter.

But, to fully understand this ad, you first need to understand the story.

Although it appears that Mr. Hughes has a knack for Keister stabbing humor, he never intended for the ad to be funny. In fact, the original campaign was slated to run as a PSA. You see, several years ago, Jeff found himself in search of his very first home. As a naive first-time homebuyer, he’d recklessly visit open houses ALONE, without any knowledge of the neighborhood, market values, etc (hang-on, it gets worse). On one such occasion, the unspeakable occurred. As I understand it, Jeff was minding his own business, evaluating a property as usual. As he was on his hands and knees inspecting the levelness of the hardwood floors, he heard the sound of blue shoe covers shuffling close behind him. Before he could turn around to get a good look of the Century 21 culprit … BANG! Things went dark. Needless to say, Jeff felt an undesirable pressure to buy the home. Although his memories are vague, images of that terrifying encounter can only be found within his ads.

From that day forward, this sweetheart of a man has dedicated his life to making sure his message is heard (not felt).

We’re happy to see Keller Williams stand behind you (don’t bend over … only kidding) and your message Jeff. For your ad: it’s a gold nomination sealed with a kiss. For your courage: a pair of titanium superman undies. And, for your sanity: a Century 21 real estate agent voodoo doll, complete with blue shoe covers. Let him have it.


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