Things are just plain Wacko in Calgary

Things are just plain Wacko in Calgary
You’d be crazy not to use her

If you think prices in Calgary, Alberta are insane then you would be crazy not to use Wendy Wacko of Royal LePage Foothills Realty. Getting through all the deal paperwork can make you go nuts and having a trusted Realtor advisor clears the mind like only electric shock therapy can.

You’ll be delirious with the fruity maniacal laughter of success when Wendy gets you the nutty as a fruitcake deal you’ve been looking for. I can not emphasize enough that you would be of unsound mind after comparing to not use Wendy Wacko. No screwball moves here just an agent able to get you bonkers deals in Real Estate in the Calgary area.

Gold Nomination for Best Name in Real Estate 2013, watch out Rich Wanket!

http://www.wendywacko.com/

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The Real Estate Clairvoyant

Carlo Melo see the future
Carlo Melo sees the future

BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR THE ULTRA CLOSEUP

In the difficult to predict, fast paced world of Real Estate investing it is nice to know that there are Realtors that use tactics as old as time itself to help their customers.  Take Sutton Group Realty’s very own Carlo Melo who is taking it old school with his advertising.  This sign says many things visually, look deep into his eyes and relax…yes relax…relaaaaax.  Your eyelids are getting heavy, you are very tired.   Good… you will buy this home and feel refreshed when you wake up.  You will completely lose the urge to smoke, the taste of Coca Cola is now revolting to you. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Schooled by the very hands of Criss Angel Mindfreak, if you can’t dazzle them with the brilliance of your product then baffle them with the Science of the Mind. Carlo can be seen selling Real Estate, appearing on Cruise Ships and the occasional Casino Show room, two clairvoyant hypnotism shows every Friday night.

http://www.carlomelo.com

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Sex Sells

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Rich Wanket Masturbatory Genius

Now we here at the Real “Ad” tor Awards are not the most worldly bunch being that we are stuck behind work stations going over stacks of nominations on a daily basis however we think we know when we are being conned.  Imagine our surprise when this gem stuck out like a The Onion op-ed piece for believability yet turned out to be REAL.  Yes we have seen a lot of women paying the SEX card but not too many men step up to the challenge like Rich Will Wanket has.

Rich the masturbatory genius real estate agent of Minneapolis Minnesota and formerly of Edina Realty can be found showing homes, holding open houses and defending himself from public indecent act charges all over town.  His prudish ex-brokerage didn’t feel the love for Rich’s ejaculating sense of humor and fired him as a Realtor on the spot but Rich has sworn he will flick the dust off, resist the temptation to choke his old broker and pound the pavement looking for a new brokerage where he will rub out the competition.

Nominated for a Hall of Fame Award for Lifetime Achievement in Real Estate Advertising

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One eye on the Future, one on the Past

Duane Meeks knows where he's been
Duane Meeks knows where he’s been

A new category for Excellence in Real Estate Photography has been proposed and our first nominee is a man who not only knows where he is going in life, but always keeps one eye on the past.

Like the mailman neither rain nor snow nor a really good song on the radio will prevent Realtor Duane Meeks of Remax Little Oak Realty from practicing his craft.  Why hire a professional photographer when such beautiful Curb Appeal can be showcased merely by rolling down the car window and raising the bar in marketing.  Every picture is worth a thousand words and most of those words in this picture speak to Duane’s incredible eye for symbolism.  How can we as an Industry know where we are going if we forget where we have been?  Not to be mistaken as laziness, in an industry of run of the mill high-end photography, Duane knows that this shock treatment will get his listing noticed.  Especially here at the Real “Ad” tor Awards.  This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Gold Nominee

http://duanemeeks.remax.ca

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The Vampire Demographic

Freya Prit
Freyja Prit Immortal Realtor

Yes the riches are in the niches and this is one niche that has yet to be exploited save for our savvy nominee Realtor Prit Toor (aka Freyja Prit).  The almost completely unexplored world of late night Real Estate is just a call away with this day light avoiding purveyor of immortal land deals.  Not one drop of your sweet blood should be shed searching for a finer sales rep and marketer of land then Ms. Toor, skills she learned in the old country.  Don’t let those fangs fool you, she will bite off the competition and drain them of all arguments when it comes time to negotiate.  You may not see her in the daylight but you will feel like joining her and her team of minions after she makes you feel like a never dying member of her family.  You will be so grateful you will want to serve her, and you will.  It would be a grave mistake to not hire Prit Toor given that there is so much at stake. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Gold Nominee

http://freyjarealestate.webs.com/

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Yogi Katheran and the Flying Circus

Katheran Milne
The Amazing Levitation skills of Katheran Milne

Heard about Yogic flying? How about Realtic floating? Looking for a Realtor that literally rises above the rest?  A little magic the rest of the pack doesn’t possess or understand?   You would think that to get this type of thinking you would have to source a 38th level Scientologist but no my friend Katheran & Co will be there for you when you’re feeling a bit too grounded with real estate troubles.  Even the Great Blue Heron is in awe of her ability to lift up business around her service area, it really is a black & white choice.

Not since Larry Hagman  found Barbara Eden in that bottle has such a talent been unleashed on the human race and if you don’t see it well I’m sorry for what you are about to settle for, Yogi Katheran Milne,… err Realtor Katheran Milne and her Flying Circus put Monty Python to shame.  Even JLo herself doesn’t cast as great a shadow as Katheran does over this Industry.  Your first call in Powell River is to KFlo. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Platinum Nomination.

http://www.katheran.com/

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Little Miss Crabby Pants

Whoa Anna … looks like someone has their crabby pants on. Let’s just step back, take a deep breath and try to put on a happy face. Look, I’m not sure if you’re just not pleased with your chosen profession or the market is starting to feel like a little over-weight pool boy pulling your fingernails out with a dull needle-noose pliers, one at a time? Either way, it appears that career change may be in order.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to tell you what to do. I mean, you look like you could hold me down by the neck with a triple-leg lock tummy fold followed by a ten minute session of noogies, only stopping when the crown of my head is as red as a monkeys butt. No thank you.

Now, here’s another theory: you’re just a sweetheart, convinced by some over-worked, over-paid, under-skilled ad exec to play the role of real estate bitch. And, if that’s the case … well, it’s genius. Got me. I actually thought that you wanted to kick my … but you … then I … HA. You’re good Anna, real good. The heavenly gates of gold nominations have just opened up and guess what? There you are. MAUH! MAUH!

Just in case my theory isn’t 100% correct, let me just say that the black one piece jumpsuit looks lovely and … I bruise easy.

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Wanted: Lunatic stark raving mad fans that are willing to run naked in public forums, paint their faces with Real”ad”tor pride, scream puns at the top of their lungs and beat the crap out of the arch rival fans. If this sounds like you, click here.
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World Wide Wonders

I couldn’t think of a better way to kick-off 2010 than kicking off a new chapter in the Real”ad”tor Awards story. So, starting in 2010, we will now be taking website submissions. Yep, you’ve asked, and now you’ll receive. And, to be honest with you, I think the real talent is online anyway. WAIT … THAT WASN’T ME TYPING, SERIOUSLY.

Anywho, to wet your palate (just a bit) before the new year and let you know just where we’re going to set the bar, I thought I’d bring you a little teaser. It’s my pleasure to introduce none other than Earl & Marilyn Mendoza and their website. Which, by the way, is frickin’ sweet. Between the pleasing colors, modern layout and nifty navigation graphics, you will undoubtedly agree that they deserve nothing less than gold.

But … they did one better. They gave us a hook. Or rather, a little something to remember them by. The decided to cleverly merry there catchy headline, “Shopping For A Realtor?”, with a literal interpretation of just what they were talking about. Looks like Marilyn found herself a good deal on some Earl.

These two are a couple of characters. Bravo Home Team, Platinum it is.