There ain’t no Font Big Enough

There Aint no Font Big Enough

After driving by an entire community full of these benches for a good month and wondering what the hell they had emblazoned on them I decided to stop in front, take a picture, go back to Head Quarters and and have the staff forensically analyze.  Our crack squad has come to a consensus that this is THEBCHOMEHUNTERGROUP’s late night with a deadline at the printers Brand Miracle.

“Listen baby, ain’t no font high enough,
Ain’t no icons low enough, ain’t no tagline wide enough baby
If you need me call me, no matter where you are,” – with our apologies to Marvin Gaye

There is no tagline left behind, no domain name is too large and there ain’t no font big enough to satisfy this group.  Specializing in Urban and Suburban real estate narrows down their field of expertise and it is delightfully emblazoned with some circly things as well which our lab is still investigating. Yes why pay professionals to develop a campaign when this Diamond can be created at 2:36AM the night before?

Congratulations THEBCHOMEHUNTERGROUP of Sutton Westcoast Gold Award for Late Night with a Deadline Brand Creation Excellence!

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbox.

This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

The Happy Thinker

      Real Estate sales is all about trust and knowledge but Danette Ball of Coldwell Banker Ti-Tel Realty in Maple Ridge, British Columbia has thrown that to the wind with this revolutionary tactic. During  a lengthy toilet visit one afternoon she discovered her father’s copy of the acclaimed bathroom book Awkward Family Photos.  What followed was one of those moments of inspiration that rarely come in one’s life and if not acted upon tends to be lost forever.  Yes the Real Estate Thinker was hatched.  Danette is clearly lost in happy contemplation of selling you your Dream Home.  Her doe eyed stare into space represents all your hopes, dreams and aspirations.  Her marketing genius is evident, the time and effort spent to create this campaign is staggering. No one else would have thought that the local drug store photo lab could have captured this moment with such passion.  The same passion she has for her career in Real Estate. Congratulations Danette Ball  REALTOR® Gold Award for Photographic Excellence!

This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Vroom vroom! Brent Roberts drives a Lamborghini Gallardo

Look how much money I make! -Brent Roberts

Well success is due to hard work and serving your clients interests ahead of your own and no one knows that better then Brent Roberts of Royal Lepage Realty in Surrey British Columbia.  As this actual photo from the Multiple Listing Service listing of a client’s property shows, Brent has hired a professional photographer to capture the essence of his listing and to make this townhome look like a million bucks.

How do you make a $299,000 list price townhouse look like a potential dwelling for the rich and famous you ask? Well my friend you park your REALTOR® branded trophy Lamborghini Gallardo in front of it and you put that photo in your client’s listing that’s how.

Congratulations Brent Roberts REALTOR® Gold Award for Photographic Excellence!

This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Help me Realtor!

Help me Realtor!

Send us your funny, your stupid, your weird, your tasteless, your ugly, your sick, your perverted, your…  You get the idea, we just can’t do it here at “Real-Ad-tor Awards” without the help of our extensive spy network of contributors and ex-members of the Romanian Secuitate.

Things are just plain Wacko in Calgary

You’d be crazy not to use her

If you think prices in Calgary, Alberta are insane then you would be crazy not to use Wendy Wacko of Royal LePage Foothills Realty. Getting through all the deal paperwork can make you go nuts and having a trusted Realtor advisor clears the mind like only electric shock therapy can.

You’ll be delirious with the fruity maniacal laughter of success when Wendy gets you the nutty as a fruitcake deal you’ve been looking for. I can not emphasize enough that you would be of unsound mind after comparing to not use Wendy Wacko. No screwball moves here just an agent able to get you bonkers deals in Real Estate in the Calgary area.

Gold Nomination for Best Name in Real Estate 2013, watch out Rich Wanket!

http://www.wendywacko.com/

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbo

This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Moist Realtors – TMI ?

Moist Realtors of Yucaipa California

Some may think this Web Site is very TMI but the sexy lady Realtors, and yes all ten of them are ladies, do not think so.  Here in Yucaipa Cailfornia the dry climate makes one thirsty for a good agent. Agents with a dry sense of humour need not apply, you need to be dripping with dew and beaming with a post climatic glow to work for Team Moist.  In order to penetrate the Yucaipa market one must be well lubricated with  local real estate knowledge and ready to do the deed transfer at any moment.

We just can’t make this stuff up, and why would we?  Once again Sex Sells and I know they will be vibrating with excitement  over at Moist Realtors with this Gold Nomination for Branding Excellence and we’ll oil it up for  them.

http://moistrealtors.net/

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbox.

 :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : : 

Century 21 ? Oh my my

Remember the Gold Jackets?  How about “We’re national but neighborly”?

Kiss away the $100’s of millions of advertising spent over decades establishing a brand that is synonymous with real estate in North America and all the popular culture references that reinforce this icon status, like in the Michael Keaton movie Betelgeuse for example.

Nope, in 2013 we are the outfit that handles your home like the toxic waste that it is and we admit we don’t need to be very bright to do it.  We are here to insult your intelligence by juxtaposing a physicist for a Realtor and completely changing our color scheme to further distance ourselves from our past success.  Even Hollywood B movie directors would give second thought to portraying Plutonium with a green glowing fluorescent light tube but Century 21 has. Sit back and relax as the Plan 9 from Outer Space realtors of Century 21 treat your home like the level 5 biohazard that it truly is, yellow caution tape and all. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Platinum Nomination for Brand Destruction

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbox.

 :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : : 

The Real Estate Clairvoyant

Carlo Melo sees the future

BEFORE YOU READ ANY FURTHER CLICK ON THE IMAGE FOR THE ULTRA CLOSEUP

In the difficult to predict, fast paced world of Real Estate investing it is nice to know that there are Realtors that use tactics as old as time itself to help their customers.  Take Sutton Group Realty’s very own Carlo Melo who is taking it old school with his advertising.  This sign says many things visually, look deep into his eyes and relax…yes relax…relaaaaax.  Your eyelids are getting heavy, you are very tired.   Good… you will buy this home and feel refreshed when you wake up.  You will completely lose the urge to smoke, the taste of Coca Cola is now revolting to you. This is not a bad realtor ad or bad realtor advertising

Schooled by the very hands of Criss Angel Mindfreak, if you can’t dazzle them with the brilliance of your product then baffle them with the Science of the Mind. Carlo can be seen selling Real Estate, appearing on Cruise Ships and the occasional Casino Show room, two clairvoyant hypnotism shows every Friday night.

http://www.carlomelo.com

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbox.

 :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  :  : : 

Sex Sells

Rich Wanket Masturbatory Genius

Now we here at the Real “Ad” tor Awards are not the most worldly bunch being that we are stuck behind work stations going over stacks of nominations on a daily basis however we think we know when we are being conned.  Imagine our surprise when this gem stuck out like a The Onion op-ed piece for believability yet turned out to be REAL.  Yes we have seen a lot of women paying the SEX card but not too many men step up to the challenge like Rich Will Wanket has.

Rich the masturbatory genius real estate agent of Minneapolis Minnesota and formerly of Edina Realty can be found showing homes, holding open houses and defending himself from public indecent act charges all over town.  His prudish ex-brokerage didn’t feel the love for Rich’s ejaculating sense of humor and fired him as a Realtor on the spot but Rich has sworn he will flick the dust off, resist the temptation to choke his old broker and pound the pavement looking for a new brokerage where he will rub out the competition.

Nominated for a Hall of Fame Award for Lifetime Achievement in Real Estate Advertising

Sign-up for The Official Real”ad”tor Awards by email and receive gems like this in your inbox.

: : : : : : : : : : :